Responsibilities

Was watching one of my favourite Hongkong TVB serial "Healing Hands III" again. Very meaningful. Make me think stuff in depth whenever i watched it. I wrote something in my previous blog the last time i watched it. Here's the extract....

Responsibilities... 10/01/06

Watching a hongkong serial "Healing Hands III". Meaningful tv serial talking about doctors, patients and their encounters...

The last episode was talking about responsibilities vs life & death. There was this loving elderly couple. Both of them are sick and admitted to hospital. One night, the wife tried to kill the husband by suffocating him. He did not die cos the doctors came to the rescue. What touches me was the reason why she wants to kill him. She is very sick and worried she might die before him. If she does, nobody will take care of the husband...

There was this mother and son. The son is paralysed. The mother has to take care of him physically as well as financially. She herself was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. The reason why she is hanging on is becos she needs to take care of the son...

Lastly, there was this mother who is a doctor, and her unborn baby who was diagnosed with down symdrome. The mother wanted to abort the baby initially. But decided to keep the baby after seeing the above two patients ...

Led me thinking about responsibilities vs life & death. Many a times we met with unfortunate events which saddled us with additional responsibilities. However, many a times it is also these responsibilities which give us a reason or courage to live. I thought of a friend who was unhappy with life. She told me she thought of commiting suicide but did not in the end cos if she dies, nobody will take care of her mother. It is this responsibility that gives her the courage to live. Everything happens for a reason. On one hand, unfortunate events happen cos it gives us a reason to live. However, on the other hand, if one's survival is due to the responsibility for another, wouldn't it be living life like a robot? Shouldn't we, as we were told, be living life passionately?

My Bak Bak Sistas

Took this out from my Bak Bak Sister (BBS)'s blog. So interesting!

My Bak Bak Sistas
A little introduction to the bak bak sistas:

Cancer - A strong level headed mum-to-be and a homely Cancer whom we all love. She speaks what is on her mind and does not care if she offends you or not. She can be a super career woman when she wants to be and fully believes that when you put your heart and soul in a matter, you can accomplish anything. A true no-nonsense kinda lady who will not hesitate to reason it out with you and will give you advice. Be warn if you do not heed her advice, unless you are one of her trusted aides, she has no patience for fools. A tough one not to be reckon with. She'll keep the trio in check when there is a need.

Leo - A strong Leo who puts on a brave front for so long that she has indeed become so brave and strong that it has become a second nature to her. A true believer who seldom wavers in her belief unless proven wrong and like a Lion, never keeps interest in a particular matter for long. A true loyal friend who places very high expectations from herself as well as from her trusted aides and expects total loyalty and friendship in return. A vain Leo this is I must add. She'll liven the trio with her laughter when she is around.

Libra - A peace-loving libran who always tries to balance and do her utmost best to maintain peace and harmony. Standing in the shoes of others and trying to think from both parties point of view can be viewed as indecisive at times and without a mind of her own. This Libran tends to seek advice and counsel from her trusted aides and makes up her own mind as she gets a clearer picture of what she wants. A truely adaptable aquatic creature who is like water - takes the form of whatever she decides to. A perpertual latecomer who is trying to reform. She'll try her best to keep the trio happy with her balancing act.

The three sistas with characters as different as can be, bound together by years of friendship. We have been through thick and thin, friendship and trust nurtured and nourished over the years. We survived the test of time and distance and we'll cherish this friendship as long as can be.

A Good Article ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,"It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling .