How To Do Business ...

(I) HOW TO DO BUSINESS WITH TWO COWS:

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut thesupply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urineinstead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.


(II) A GOOD BUSINESSMAN ...

JACK, a smart businessman, talks to his son.

JACK : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son : "I will choose my own bride !"
JACK : "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter !!!"
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next JACK approaches Bill Gates.

JACK : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry !"
JACK : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank !!!"
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally JACK goes to see the president of the World Bank.

JACK : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need !"
JACK : "But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law !!!"
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done.